I recently read a Facebook post of someone asking advice for how much to push their daughter to ride. At the young age of 6, her horse accidentally shook her off and scared her from riding. The mothers concern was just how much should she push her to get back on now that she has a fear of something she loved to do.
It is a tough question, and I think it differs per child. I think the best way to handle it from the beginning is as soon as the kid falls off the first time, make sure there are no broken bones, then just swing them back up in the saddle like it was never a big deal. The child may still be sniffling a little, but if you put them right back to work they quickly forget their fear for the rest of their brief ride. Most of the time this works long term, and they accept that they will fall at some point if they continue to keep riding and that it’s okay to fall sometimes. Every once in a while though a student will go home and think on it, and decide they never want to fall again and riding is not worth the risk. Then it’s up to the parents to decide whether they want to push this sport on their child or not.
Though it does differ per child as to how you approach this dilemma, I personally think the answer is the same. Your child needs to get back on a horse. If they don’t, they will carry that fear the rest of their lives and it may even transition into other fears. I personally think every child should learn to ride a horse, even if they don’t stick with it in the long run. There are so many benefits to riding that will help them in any other sport. They have to learn teamwork with a 1,000 pound animal that doesn’t speak English; they have to learn how to control their bodies while another entity is moving them; and they have to learn to have mental stability when it comes to conquering fear and keeping themselves composed in high stress situations. You can’t lie to an animal and tell them that you are calm. They will feel whatever part of you isn’t calm and react to it in some way. A horse makes you 100% honest. They will make you face whatever fear you have and make you harness it because that is the only option.
Some people are naturally fearless and maybe they’ve tried the horse thing for a bit but they don’t love it. That’s fine, horseback riding is not for them. But if you have a child that is genuinely scared, it is even more important that they work through that. They can even start on ground work, slowly working up to the saddle. Like I said, the approach differs with each student, but yes, I would continue to push forward in helping them overcome their fears. I have one student who was a very fearful rider at a young age. He is 10 years old now and he rides his horse confidently, but he still doesn’t love riding. His dad actually bribes him to ride once a week. And I think that’s awesome. This kid had so much fear when he started and it was a constant battle to try to keep him on and going into a lope was a long challenge. But he is a much more confident young individual now that he can push through his fear and take control of something. He has come so far, he actually fell off earlier this year and he got up, dusted himself off, said he was okay and we got him back up and he rode just fine the rest of the lesson. He understands now; he does have the power to control a giant animal, but sometimes circumstances don’t go exactly as planned and when that happens there’s no reason to get upset over it. Just dust yourself off, let it go and get back at it. That is such an important life lesson to be learned at 10 years old. And some people don’t learn that until they are adults! But because this dad pushed this 10 year old, he will have a solid foundation as he grows up. Horseback riding may never be his thing, but he will never be afraid of it anymore and when he gets older he will realize how many girls like hearing that he can ride a horse. 😉
I would love feedback on this topic. And if anyone is looking for ideas on the best way to start a fearful youngster, please contact me!